Free/Friend/Today. i don't know.
but i feel so free now.
as in emotionally.
the past few weeks.. i felt soo low.
all over one guy.
then, out of no where.
the low-ness feeling just disappeared.
maybe its a realization of reality.
i don't know.
but now, i feel no need to be so low.
it's nice to feel happy and free again.
(:
but.. what i'm not sure is..
do i still like like him?
am i still waiting for him?
so.. complicating.
i don't know if this means i am over him
and that i am moving on.
but all i know is that i want to be happy.
all i know is that being sad and low
doesn't help the situation.

but i am disappointed in him.
no man has the right to lead a girl on.
and not answer his feelings to her.
oh well.
i still like him as it was
from the start of the friendship.
and he's still my friend.
i like the way we were at the start.
so. can we restart? (:

i guess i learn from the past.
not to let go of a special friendship
over such a situation.
cause i know i will regret it.
bwa~

smile people. (:
cause life is worth smiling for.
thanks to the people who love&care for you.

emo days are over.
hahahaha..
im retarded. i know.
:P

-----------------------------

dear friend(s).
i know we are humans.
and feelings are easily swayed.
but at the stage you are at,
and the way you behave,
i have to say you are wrong.
if you are a boyfriend or girlfriend,
do know your limits and boundaries.
to avoid all the misunderstandings
that could shake your relationship/friendship.
im saying this,
cause i care for you.
cause i know you are wrong
so im pointing it out to you.
i may not know everything
but as far as i know,
this is wrong and you are wrong.
if you think otherwise,
tell me so, explain to me.
like i said, let's avoid the misunderstandings.
my words may hurt you,
but do understand,
it's for your own good
and cause i care and love you much.

-----------------------------

today.
started off with a rough start to the day.
horrible.
i feel so guilty that i could cry.
im so sorry, nenekies. :(
haiz.

project should be over soon.
come on, get it over with.
holidays are like sooo calling for me.
aigoh.
Pretty much blissful & happy. ♥
@10:30 PM

Fasha's Dream today fasha told me a story - fasha's dream.
funny weird dream.

here it goes:
-
fasha and me was in a rush to go to school.
instead of taking bus 15, we took 81.
after we alighted, we wanted to cross the pedestrian road.
guess what happens next?
fasha falls flat on her face in the middle of the road.
guess what i did?
nothing.
guess what i say?
"kaaann.. aku suruh kau makan, kau tak nak makan~"
HAHAHAHA.
there's more...
there was this old man turn traffic "police" person.
directing the car away from the fallen fasha.
HAHAHA.
wth.

what a good laugh.
Pretty much blissful & happy. ♥
@2:26 PM

Sleep Deprived. 21February09 (sunday)

work morning shift.
shocked to see a long queue outside of the mall.
it's been a week plus since i went for work.
boy, this is surprising.
more surprising is that S.H.E. was coming down to eastpoint mall today.
for the first time, in my life, i saw the mall was crowded from level 1 - 6. amazing.
rushed out from work at 2pm.

did some house chores and get my most awaited sleep.
yawn. zz..



20February09 (saturday)

did project til afternoon.
went home and relax.

evening. went out to meet ery&ida for the 1e4/1e3 pit.
so refreshing to meet the young&old peoples.
hamdan irwan nadzir zainab firdaus nazirul.
and also, lynn dayah seha (:
funness & good stuffs. i loike.
(picture on zainab's facebook)

later. met up with the guys to teh tarik.
wan din ahiq taha yan affan afdal.
"abg2 ns berbual.. *silence* "
riding to henderson waves.. punggol end.
taha's funny stunt.. red ants went up his pants?!
kecohness with wan - laughing gas.
"semut2 sedia~! attire check~"
wan commanding an army of ants..
we were all laughing out ass off like crazy people.
"come, i shall save you from drowning - to the prawn"
wan doing some 'fishing'..
seriously.

going home, i rode on affan's vespa. woo~
even though, only a short while, so the relek on corner type. hahaha..

got home at 5am. and work morning shift. :S ouch.
zzz..
Pretty much blissful & happy. ♥
@4:43 PM

Kway Teow. 19February09 (thursday)

fasha&me did the regular study/project work routine at mc cafe.
msn with din/ahiq. as per normal, hungry din came calling.
"when is ever that din is not hungry.." seriously. haha..
bought ingredients and head to ahiq house.
chef ahiq waiting to cook..

accompanied ahiq did some errands first.
then off to ahiq house. kway teow.. yum yum!
even better when we're eating while watching "k-nite" (:
din got a call from army boy who just got back.

din&ahiq went off to meet afdal.
i accompanied fasha to meet liyana, then joined din&ahiq later.




it's been awhile since i played x-box.
whats the use of having an x-box at home and not playing it?
aiyohh..
march pls come faster~!!
hahaha..

i like you but you like another.
thanks for not telling. next time, don't lead on a girl you don't have feelings for and leave her hanging/waiting for nothing. it hurts. but.. nah, i'm over this.

we're still friends, right? aboden~
hahahaha...
peace out a-town. bwa.

yang penting mesti happy (:
Pretty much blissful & happy. ♥
@4:28 PM

Leisure. 18February09 (wednesday)

afternoon spent with aisha at my house, watching Simpsons on my dying laptop with the loud drilling renovations sounds from my kitchen toilet. hahaa..

night out with diba to celebrate abg azman's birthday.
out with diba abgrahman abgazman & darul(their friend).
kallang leisure mall - pastamania.
kecohness like little kiddies they are indeed. how hilariously cute.
where the cake ends up on each other faces/clothes/floor..
it's fun (:

and
HAPPY 25th BIRTHDAY to abg man (:
(pictures on diba's facebook)



fun.
yang penting mesti happy..
Pretty much blissful & happy. ♥
@4:20 PM

Jane. 17February09 (tuesday)

fasha&me was on a mission.
at downtown - coffee bean, to study/project work.

we even had visitors like din qilah ahiq wann faizah..
din was sick with headache. so qilah&me shared the care&love for him (pictures of our loves below)..

overnight at my second home, mak/diba's house. (:



#1 came at a price i could afford to pay.
Pretty much blissful & happy. ♥
@3:46 PM

(Root)Beer. 15February09 (sunday)

it's hilarious.
it's funny.
it's taha.
taha high on (root)beer.

fasha is such a lucky girlfriend. haha..

out with fasha din ahiq(fahiq), joined by taha wan syam. (:
bumped into fiqah too. hoho.






Pretty much blissful & happy. ♥
@3:36 PM

Valentine's Day & Happy Birthday. 14February09 (sunday)














♥♥♥♥♥♥
i'm happy enough to have this family.
it's more than enough (:
♥♥♥♥♥♥
Pretty much blissful & happy. ♥
@3:27 PM

Bowl. 10February09 (tuesday)

made a special "shawl" delivery to fasha *giggles*.
had din&fahiq coming down to tp-engineering school canteen cause of one hungry din. fudin was in school and joined along. waited for fasha to go for her interview, until her food turned cold and din finishing up 2 dishes of nasi goreng. haha. so much for him, not wanting to come and eat at tp. haha.

surprisingly azwani also joined cause fahiq knows her. aisey. small world. after all the kecohness with cats and fasha's long awaited arrival. we left, walking to safra, having fudin treating us to a game of bowling. (: ernie came down too after school, but.... temporarily only. oh well, stuffs happens.

after game, fasha left for home. the rest went off the open space to chill. din&me arrived way so early. ended up waiting and waiting for fudin fahiq azwani. even until we met qilah walking her way to spc for food. haha..









and this was when jane dropped baby.
nooo..
hahaha..
Pretty much blissful & happy. ♥
@3:15 PM

Out. 07February09.

amazingly on a saturday morning, i was already walking around in orchard road. accompanied dibah for a cosmetic workshop at body shop paragon. we were late by a couple of minutes.. oh well, it started at 9.30am~ i guess it was a-okay. the only bad thing was that we had to stand for the entire duration of the workshop, cause it was held in body shop itself and, i supposed it was a space constraint issue or so. got ourselves a goodie bag each consisting of 3 sets of body lotion/butter/cream, body shop mascara, a $20 body shop voucher and $15 eyebrow trimming. se-weeet stuffs. diba&me claimed body shop make-up mini brush sets each using the vouchers. diba did shopped for more thou :P

then, we walked to cineleisure. suddenly, this random guy approached us for NETS receipt, saying that we could enter lucky draw.. digging up what paper receipts i have in my wallet, i only had one NETS receipt worth of $20. itu pun jadi da~ hahaa. the best part was that i won the biggest prize that had to offer, $80 robinsons voucher~! whoa. momma will sure love this! all of the sudden, i feel so happy and lucky. (:

went HMV too. can i buy the store? bla~
ever realise that the HMV store stated their opening hours at the entrance? ever read it? it's all the same. i wonder why didn't they just put it something like "every single day regardless of PH, open at blablabla timing" it's something interestingly cute that HMV has to offer. haha!

went home after that. took a meow meow nap. then, in the evening, went out to meet cayang aisha, who wanted to go shopping. "baru dapat gaji~" hahaa. went watsons for cosmetics, went bedok for jeans hunting.. we went one round around NTUC bedok, just to find the store. haha~! oh not forgetting, going to COAX where she bought a skirt~ hahaha.. $$$$ flyyyy..

stopped by elias mac to fill our empty stomach than head for home (:
it's a good good day.









[somewhere somehow i feel guilty]
im sticking with him and only him at the moment..
satu da cukup~
i'll wait for him (:
Pretty much blissful & happy. ♥
@11:44 PM

Random.
and im having a splitting headache nw.
ouch baby ouch. just now, jane dropped baby :(
jane is banned from touching baby anymore.
pfft!
Pretty much blissful & happy. ♥
@12:39 AM

Bored. 1.Full Name: Nur Fadhilah Binte Mazlan.
2.Nicknames: Fad/Fadz/Dila.
3.Age: Going on 20.
4.Gender: Female.
5.Where do You Live: Pasir Ris.
6.Relationship status: Single, but not available - my feelings/heart ain't stable at the moment.
7.Siblings: 2 younger annoying ones.
8.Pets: None. Does my monkey doll counts?
9.Screen name: ?
11.Hair Color: Black.
12.Hair length: Long enough (:
13.Eye Color: Black.
14.Height: 160cm. Yaya, im short, but a-okay with it (:
15.Piercings: 5. 2 on my right ear, 3 on my left ear.
16.Tattoos: None.
17.Shoe Size: 7? i think.
18.Jeans Size: Good Question.
19.Make-Up: Yup (:
20.Dye Your Hair: Too many times :S

MY FAVORITES
21.Food: Almost anything goes~
22.Drink: Green Tea & Water.
23.Color: Black. Red. White.
24.Store: 7evelen, it's a store and more~
26.Kind Of Alcohol: ?
27.Ice Cream Flavor: ALL!
28.Book: Twilight Series.
29.Season: Winter.
30.Video Game: Not sure.

HAVE YOU EVER?
31.Smoked a cigarette: Smoked and it's over.
32.Done Any Drugs: No.
33.Gotten Drunk: No.
34.Gone Skinny Dipping: OoOo.. Unfortunately, no. Haha. Ery, I thought you say we should go try~ Haha!
35.Bonged a beer: ? Whats bong?
36.Had Sex: No.
37.Kissed Same Sex: Yes. Not on the lips, that is. Haha.
38.Done Anything Sexual With Same Sex: Omg. Sexual ka per~
39.Eaten Sushi: Yes.
40.Broken A Bone: No.

DO YOU/ARE YOU
41.Like Your Handwriting: Its okay, i suppose.
42.Have Any Bad Habits: I guess so.
43.Hate Yourself: Not really. I love myself most of the time when I'm not being stupid. Haha.
44.Shy: Depends.
45.Tolerant Of Others: Depends.
46.Aggressive Or Passive: Depends.
47.Have A Journal: Yes.
48.Emotionally Strong: Depends.
49.Read The News Paper: At times.
50.Confident: Sometimes.
51.Is There A God: Yes. Amin~
52.Does He Have A Gender: Only GOD would know.
53.Do Ghosts Exists: Trying not to think about that..
54.What About Witches: I wonder.
55.Miracles: I wonder.
56.What Do You Think About Abortion?: The worst.
57.Premarital Sex: No.
58.Life On Other Planets: I wonder.
59.Porn: Omg~
60.Cosmetic Surgery: Not interested.

CAN YOU
61.Sing Well: Doubt so.
62.Play An Instrument: None that I can remember. Haha.
63.Write Well: Okay, I suppose.
64.Skateboard: Used to.
65.Take A Shot Without A Chaser: ? Sounds so Harry Potter Like.
66.Say the Alphabet Backward: Not sure. I could try.
67.Snow Board: Once. Long time ago.
68.Juggle: Maximum of 2 things. Haha.
69.Do A Split: Ouch. No.
70.Draw: Yes. (:

THE FUTURE
71.Plan On Marriage: Yes. Not now, of course.
72.Kids: Yes. I love kids. (:
73.And Their Names: Have yet to think about it.
74.Occupation: I'm still thinking~
75.Where You Want To Live: Singapore with everyone I love and care.
76.Big Or Small House: Depends on the budget. Small is nice.
77.Do You Want To Live Near People: Yes.
78.Long Driveway Or Short: Do Singapore even have driveways?
79.Income: Enough for me to survive.
80.Cars: Yes, please. Can I get a baby volkswagen beetle or a mini copper? (:

THIS/THAT
81.Walmart/Target: Target. (:
82.Chocolate/Vanilla: Vanilla.
83.Night/Day: Night.
84.McDonalds/Burger King: Burger King.
85.Cats/Dogs: Cats.
86.Fruits/Veggies: Fruits.
87.Pillows/Blankets: Blanket.
88.Pepsi/Coke: Pepsi.
89.Alcohol/Weed: Ain't weed illegal in Singapore?
90.Reading/Writing: Reading.
91.Biggest Fear: ALLAH.
92.Compliment You Get Often: No idea. Can't remember.
93.What Would You Change About Yourself: Not sure.
94.Regrets: Haiz. Too many..
95.Gotten Arrested: No.
96.Are You Ticklish: Super. And he knows it so well. :S
97.Longest Relationship: 3 years?
98.How Much TV Do You Watch: Just those I enjoy watching~
99.What color is your bedroom: Pinky White? I think.
100.Are you happy: Waiting to be happy once more. Heal baby heal~
Pretty much blissful & happy. ♥
@8:00 PM

Weird.
Pretty much blissful & happy. ♥
@1:55 PM

Formal. Career Fair. 05February09

fasha wore formal today and she wants to make me her tagging buddy cause she finds it weird to wear formal. hahaa. but she looks good in it, with an exceptional tall in height, since she wore heels. adui. ate lunch with fasha&aisya. both had interview tests, which i took mine a year ago~ long time over. hahaha.

ohh, and i was dragged to attend an engineering lecture cause fasha dragged me to. haha. seriously, i dont understand much, plus the lecturer was just giving answer to past year exam questions. exams :S im lucky im done and off with it for poly. hehe.



06February09

today was temasek polytechnic's career fair. supposed to meet fiqah, she tight on project. kesian her. so i went with fasha. we had no idea which talks to go, so we just go go go.

somehow i was pretty clumsy today. we were late for the army talk, we rushed in. while walking down the stairs to the seats, i almost tripped and roll down. seriously. the army guy was talking, and people was looking. ugh! so the embarassing la! then, when we went in for the air force talk, i told fasha, let's seat at the last row so that i can avoid repeating the same "trip" act, before i even finish my sentence, i tripped big time! bla~ clumsy nak mampos! frustressing. haha.

another favourite incident was fasha&me standing in between the police booth and the prison police booth. we already talked to the people at the police booth. so we wanted to ask the prison police but... mmm.. so we stood there and stare~ hahaha. after several minutes, lucky one prison police approached us and intro us to the prison police blablabla~ interesting gitu! really interesting. and the best part was that the prison police guy was superr adorably cute la. when fasha asked him "what was the working hours like?" and he answered "ohh the normal working hours is seven to twee. but there is night shift seven to seven. normally, we work from seven to twee." HAHAHA. twee~ twee~ three is twee~ omg. so cute la! i think i laughed, can't remeber but it is superly adorably cutely hilarious. and fasha didnt caught it. how could she not? don't know what she was concentrating on la. but hahahaa.. cute.
Pretty much blissful & happy. ♥
@12:08 PM

HSA. 04February09

had lunch date with diba&fasha at tamp BK. then, fasha left for class. while waiting for joti&ery, i accompanied diba for her little shoe shopping spree. hawt stufffs. been a long while since i last went shoe shopping. :S

met joti&ery and went to HSA, cause they wanted to donate their blood. i was an exception due to some unforeseen circumstances. hahaha. excuses. after that, when they were done, we plan to walk back to the mrt, but something happen. imagine: "within one minute, the weather can change from sunny to super heavy rain". though we ran like maniacs and having ery screaming "my make up! my make up!" which was hilarious, we still got darn drenched under the rain. and it got freezing cold once we got in the mrt. fyu~

went home and took a nice napp. supposed to meet the babes again in the evening but it got cancelled. oh well. it's always a good fun with them (: love them much.






<3
Pretty much blissful & happy. ♥
@11:40 AM

Random Ramblings.
RANDOM 1:
what are expectations?
why do one expect things?

by nature, why do one expect things from others yet knowing of chances of one being let down is available. and how one actually end up in a position of disappointment and sadness, at times to an extend of tears. then so, one wonder a million thoughts from the start to the end, wondering what was the problem, what was the cause, what made the mess, what why how who. then, one end up blaming, and blaming one's self, blaming here and there, yet the situation made no progress. in the end, nothing changes and yet the thoughts keep running on and on endlessly. only waiting sleep to take over the thoughts away momentarily until the next moment one's mind starts to think again.

these questions that ended up unanswered no matter how one try to find a solution to it. this is the questions of life. it simply goes round and round and round endlessly.

throughout everyone's entire journey in life, similar incidents happen and causes one to have a stir in emotions from happiness to sadness, from anger to jealousy and more emotions that even one cant name so.

personally, this is such a normal thing is life. this is a slice of life. this is inevitable no matter what. but yet, somehow this is what makes us stronger. this is what will give us strength and will to go on with life. this is what that ends up shaping us into the people we are. and i think this is something i will never understand fully, but who will, only god knows.

the roller coasters of life.

RANDOM 2:
the precious memories of us.
the time we spent together.
may it be so little and small.
it meant all too much.
all i know it is not nothing.
all i know it meant something.
for the scenes came replaying.
on and on, on my mind.
and it'd only end up with you.
with you in my mind.
how willful and how selfish i am.
how sinful and how wishful it is.
how i wish it could continue.
how i wish it hold a meaning.
how i wish all so many wishes.
to stop my mind from wondering.
to silence my endless questions.

you make me go crazy.
you make me think of you.
you sealed yourself in my mind.
you locked yourself in my heart.
all i want is you holding me once more.
yet you drift yourself far away.
so far i couldn't reach.
is that your final say.
is that your answer.

im already in denial.
only you could.
save me.
tell me how you feel.

[imysm]
Pretty much blissful & happy. ♥
@11:34 PM

Leona Lewis.

Leona Lewis Lyrics
I Will Be Lyrics



Leona Lewis Lyrics
Im So Into You Lyrics



Leona Lewis Lyrics
Yesterday Lyrics



Leona Lewis Lyrics
Whatever It Takes Lyrics
Pretty much blissful & happy. ♥
@5:19 PM

NTU. 31January09 (yesterday)

went to the NTU talk at suntec with diba. wow. it got me all so motivated to enter NTU, with terms & conditions applied. haha. that is if my results are good enough to enter NTU in the first place. insya allah. it all now depends on my final year project. ugh. susah susah.

then took a short walk to marina square. then went back to diba's house. bam bom baaam.. went out for dinner with mak and diba at afghan. fooooddd~

was in a low mood. sucky feeling the whole day.

aniways, fasha babe, cheer up.
you know you got to talk it out eventually. (:
all the best, babe.
and get well soon too.



love stories comes in different forms.
different versions.
different genre.
different plot.
different endings.

it comes with a whole package of emotions.
happiness. joy.
love. warmth.
secured. bliss.
sad. pain.
heartbreak. betrayal.
and all more..

does knowing ease the pain?
does not knowing makes it worse?
Pretty much blissful & happy. ♥
@5:53 PM

Love Matters. 30January09

went coffee bean, downtown, with huda. did some read up on php.

speaking of which, my final year project that was supposed to have ended on 29Jan, yesterday, was extended to 6march. seriously! we had never expected that. good thing is that we do not need to do another project. bad thing is that more of the same old same old stuffs to make do with and finalize. ohhh my headd~

hours passed at coffee bean. we got bored. so, we ended up watching movie, love matters. due to some blablabla, there goes my last amount to usable money in my bank account. ouch baby ouch! oh, did i mention that we were both sick on this day. huda has been sick for the past 2 days. but i got sick today. amazing how i could be soooo sick soooo suddenly. movie was good.

we went to meet mail at ws. then off to home. i can't take it. i feel like shits. so sick. so horrible. so much.

imy.
Pretty much blissful & happy. ♥
@5:46 PM